I became a convinced Quaker about nine years ago. Before Quakerism, I walked with an affirming stride to Catholic Mass every morning. I was the lone Black woman at Daily Rosary and I'd smell that soothing mist of clarifying incense. St. Francis Xavier Church's school is were I dropped off my five-year-old daughter then up the hill to the church. Gurl, did I ever feel protected by every Angel, Saints, and even a few Fairies. The biggest thing that irked me about my faith was at my daughter's school: if she needed a pencil $1, wanted to use a flag handed out during the Pledge of Allegiance $1 (what child wants to be left out), she forgot her composition book $1 for 2 sheets of paper, forgot her milk $2 with mandatory repayment or $1 per day penalty. There were so many fees that I died from being nickeled and dimed to death . There were so many casualties. Why not just increase tuition to cover all fees?
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| Warrior Daughter One Step at a Time |
After Mass I KNEW that being shot with an AK-47 would deflect from my prayer reinforced Teflon body. Holy Communion and the omnipotent Eucharist blockaded all evil from my world. Take your daily Eucharist and the Holy Trinity is with you.When I was having problems with my daughter, the priest said that firstly she is God's child and I'm only here to guide her. Boy , did this take a boulder off my shoulders. Four years later things changed s-l-o-w-l-y.
Everything was all good at school until God left the building. I mean that the empathy and caring brought by the exit of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM) order who managed the school. The Sisters left because there are so few for a plethora of ecumenical commitments.
Move forward to 4th grade and the time of the devil. Mrs. Richards is classified as a bitch. Really, just google "bitch" and there is her biography and picture. Yeah, well this IS a positive post; out of pure evilness comes anger then forgiveness. I ain't at the forgiveness part but it does come. Richards mocked her about being biracial, her ADHD (which was under control), and laughed at her in front of the class about incorrect tests, homework, etc. She singled out my daughter the alter server and sweet kid. My daughter said, "She shouldn't have done that, right Mom." I cried. This teacher-who-must-not-be-named is known far and wide in my mostly Polish and Ukrainian Community as that mean, spiteful woman whose husband walked out. But I'm not Polish or Ukrainian; I'm the strong black woman who knows how to fight. I can write a mean-ass memo, letters and a cohesive debate strategy. They knocked me out with each letter: The school did nothing. I went to our parish priest and nothing. Our area bishop and nothing. Even our Cardinal and nothing. I learned about the power of passive-aggressiveness.
I snatched my daughter out and homeschooled her; Philly is not known for good schools. I continued Mass and daily Communion. But I felt my Teflon cracking like a bat to glass. Know one cared about the mental abuse of children. As if the world doesn't know. I felt stifled and angry. I asked myself, "Is all of this pomp and circumstance needed?"
I came to a Quaker Meeting because of an agitated spirit. A spirit bottled up with no place to express itself. Volunteering would salve my hurt heart and I couldn't possibly volunteer at a Catholic agency because my wounds still festered. I called to volunteer at different Quaker agencies and no one returned my call -- NO ONE. Contemplation on volunteering my spiritual time to a denomination with a creed I could attest is hypocrisy. So I drove to a Meeting to find a person who might know of an organization I can lend myself and spirit.
What freedom. Hearing my heartbeat, feeling the unleashed energy of my Spirit reenter me with each breath. The smell of incense I was so used to and told my soul its time for worship wasn't needed. I returned the next Sunday. Returning for months and years has unleashed my bottled Spirit. I required not a wafer in my mouth to commune with my God daily or each minute or second. Now going into Worship and seeing friends and Friends is my incense.
These past nine years have freed me with forgiveness. My daughter and mother are now both convinced Friends. My personality doesn't always mesh with others (especially when yelling "beat him" during a football game) and this is what makes a community. We belong. I commune with the power of my own talk with God.
Quakerism embrace my soul with beliefs that there is God in everyone (even that bitch Richards) and God within ME. Each day rewards me empowerment of and from the Light. The Light of God and Jesus.
Quakerism has no creed but there is a sort of guide that leads my life. I energize and free my soul with a commitment to Quaker S.P.I.C.E.S.; Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, Stewardship. Quakerism has created an energy of caring and HOW I want to lead my life. What a wonderful power.
Justice did happen for our family with the Catholic Church. The Bishop I pleaded for help with the abusive teacher is now jailed. He is imprisoned for child abuse because he never told authorities about sexual abuse. And the Cardinal was just fired from the Committee of Bishops at the Vatican.
Next blog concentrates on the energy and freedom of Simplicity.
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